Being a mom often leaves little time for other aspects of life. Whether you have one child or twelve, parenting is a full-time job. Not full-time as in 40 hours a week, but full-time as in 24 hours a day.

It’s easy to overlook that we need to nurture our relationship with our husbands. Marriage is an incredible union between two people who love each other, but sometimes other things get in the way of expressing our feelings for our partners. We can quickly take for granted that important bond that brought us to want to be a Mom. If this sounds all too familiar, improving your marriage is a worthwhile resolution.

What Can I Do to Improve My Marriage?

There are many goals we can set to improve our marriages. Here are some areas that often need work:

* Communicating with your partner is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Maybe you just don’t make the time to talk to each other as much as you once did, or maybe all of your conversations are about the children. While it’s important to discuss parenting, it’s also important to talk to each other about your feelings, goals, and experiences. About things you had passions for before the kids were born.

* Both partners should have a say in decisions about marriage and family. If one partner does all of the decision making, the other may feel hurt and resentful. And those feelings can drive a wedge between a husband and wife. If either you or your husband does all of the decision making, it is vital to work to regain a balance of power. This works both ways, if you make all the decisions then you could be feeling like you have an absent partner. Make sure and bring things up in a completely positive way, as in you are worried that it seems you make a majority of the decisions and want to know how they feel about that.

* You may not spend enough time alone together. It’s often quite difficult when you have kids, but a marriage will be much happier if a couple can spend some time alone together on a regular basis. Whether it’s a late dinner for two after the kids are in bed or a romantic weekend getaway, enjoying one another’s company without interruption can strengthen the bond between a man and a woman. Believe me, after having kids I ALL THE SUDDEN understood why my bedtime was always 8pm growing up. My parents also spent 15-30 minutes when my Dad got home that we couldn’t interrupt them as they talked about their day. My parents have been married for almost 40 years BTW

* All married couples argue, but some do so more productively than others. It is crucial to fight fair. Avoid name-calling and other things that are only meant to hurt your partner. Try not to raise your voice, and listen to what your partner has to say. If both partners can do these things, they’re not really fighting. They’re simply discussing something that they don’t agree on. I personally find if a subject will make me fly off the handle then I tell him so ahead of time. I’ll tell him that I can’t be rational about it and he needs to consider that as we discuss it and try to help keep me cool. I do the same for him on subjects I know are his boiling point.

* When we’ve been married for a long time, we often take our partners for granted. Little things like a love note in the lunchbox or sending flowers for no reason are thoughtful ways to show your partner how much you care. I’ll get up some mornings and pack his food for him (used to all the time when he worked a 9-5 job). Every little thing is appreciated. Think of how much you like things done for you? It works both ways.

Even if your marriage is good, improving it is always a worthwhile goal. There is always room for a little work in one area or another. Striving to be the best spouse you can be will make life more fulfilling for both you and your husband, not to mention your children that grow up seeing your healthy relationship and how you worked for it.