Thank you to Judy for joining us as a guest blogger. We’re excited to add her writing into the mix of information and tips we bring to you each week. We love to bring you different points of view and writing styles!
Be open to seeking professional help when needed.
The truth is, we simply are unable to be fully objective when we are in the midst of our own personal problems. Counseling gives us a broader perspective.
I am a huge believer in the benefit of all types of counseling: individual, marriage, and family. Finding the right therapist is the most important factor in determining whether counseling will be helpful. You have to trust your gut instinct on this one. Start by finding a therapist who specializes in whatever issue you are dealing with— marriage problems, depression, anxiety, grief, and so forth. You will get a sense pretty quickly of whether or not there is a good connection between you and the counselor. If you don’t feel a good connection, then move on but do not give up. Just because the first or second person you try isn’t the right counselor for you doesn’t mean that the right one isn’t out there somewhere. You owe it to yourself to keep looking, because good therapy and the right therapist can change your life in dramatic ways.
Life coaching is another great tool for helping you when you feel stuck in life.
Both coaching and therapy provide an objective perspective and non-judgmental feedback, but counseling looks at the past to help illuminate patterns of behavior, while coaching is concerned only with the present and the future. Coaching is an action-oriented process that focuses on where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It involves clarifying your values, creating goals that align with those values, generating an action plan to meet your goals, and supporting and encouraging you to meet those goals.
Although coaching practices vary slightly, this is how it typically works: The first session is about clarifying your true values.
Together, you and your coach will examine your view of the world and yourself, look at what your inner critic says that keeps you stuck in situations, identify who your support systems are, and look at how well-balanced your life is by assessing the following areas: career, money, health, friends and family, significant other, and your physical environment. You will choose which of these areas to work on and create goals that you can achieve within the next ninety days. This initial session lasts two or three hours, and it is the only one where you meet in person. All other sessions are thirty minutes long and take place over the phone at a mutually convenient time for you and your coach. You have three phone conversations per month. Most coaches ask for a three-month commitment.
Often you can get a free informational meeting to explain the coaching process to you before you make an actual commitment.
When I worked with a coach, one of my goals was to find a way to make yoga a bigger part of my life. By the end of the three months, I had turned our guest bedroom into my own personal yoga room. I removed the pullout sofa to create more open space; painted the walls a warm, inviting color; hung up inspirational wall hangings; and filled the room with lots of candles and incense. My husband bought me a massage chair for an anniversary present to add to the relaxing ambiance of the room. Although I had pondered doing this for a really long time, it was the coaching process that finally moved me into action.
Judy Myers, author of Managing the Mommy Years, is the mother of three children. She is a long-time yoga practitioner, a certified Kripalu Yoga Teacher, an avid writer, and an Enneagram enthusiast. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Communications, a Master’s degree in Education, and is a certified Guidance Counselor.
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